SPRING 2003

Banquet Etiquette

This article is the second installment by Dr. Kadis, who is both a renowned neurosurgeon and restauranteur. I had asked him to impart some of his wisdom regarding the finer things in life. It seems that residency teaches us only a portion of what is truly important in life. Brian R. Subach, MD

Banquet Etiquette for Young Neurosurgeons
Gerald Kadis, MD

As I reflect upon my time as a neurosurgical resident, I tended to focus on the struggles of training. Rituals in dining were at the bottom of my agenda. I was generally grateful to just make it through the day without stepping on too many toes. Things changed instantly once I was thrust into the real world of practicing medicine. I was often called upon to serve as host, or even better, as an honored guest. As my social skills developed, occasionally the request to perform as toastmaster was bestowed upon me. How we behave at such special events reflects on our character as physicians and leaders in our community. Avoiding errors in these social roles is important for one's acceptance by peers and the public.

With the world shrinking as it is, it is also important to have a more international view when handling these types of responsibilities and keep in mind that cultural differences often demand a more global approach in these matters.

The Honored Guest

In a multicultural society a most important, and at times, delicate role can be that of an honored guest. As an honored guest we must always respect our host and not make him lose face in front of his peers. I recall an event in which this was a most difficult challenge for me. In the mid-1970s I was the honored guest of a Laotian general. I was aware that his family had been preparing a banquet in my honor for several days. For some reason, banquets bring out the exotic in all cultures. While fois gras, caviar, escargot and ripened cheeses are commonplace at European banquets, in Laos a freshly caught fish is aged at jungle temperature for a couple of days until it has metamorphosed into another, more aromatic form. This now somewhat gelatinous protein is then fried with chilies and garlic and served to the expectant guests. Let me tell you, the fragrance of this dish can be appreciated from quite a distance!

One can get past the thumbscrew of such occasions by keeping in mind that there are only 20 basic amino acids and that rising to the occasion and fitting into different cultures can be rewarding, although sometimes greatly challenging, to the intelligent neurosurgeon. This attitude has helped me in the past through plates of well-cooked pig tendons in mucinous white sauce in China; well-ripened Epoisses cheese, a seasonal delicacy in France whose aroma can only be described as profoundly feculent; Scottish haggis (a sheep's stomach stuffed with a bland gray pudding); and the Dom Perignon of exotic Southeaast Asian fruits, the durian with its Limburger cheese-like perfume. It is the responsibility of the guest to accept and admire the food that is presented and to compliment the chef and kitchen staff who prepared it.

To be asked to be an honored guest is an exceptional experience. Make every effort to enjoy the people, the culture, the ambience, and the rare and unusual food.

The Gallant Host

The responsibility of becoming the host can far outweigh the challenges of being the honored guest. You are the designated leader of all aspects of the evening. You can make the difference in the level of enjoyment or misery everyone experiences.

The host should make the honored guest and all other guests feel welcome and appreciated, and should guide the conversation so that all guests feel a part of the evening. The conversation should not be confrontational and if there are language problems one should make a special effort to be patient as well as helpful to these particular guests. Inviting other guests who share this common language can be most helpful. Keep in mind that yahoo and nabob can often find common ground when seated next to each other, as well.

The host should rise and toast the honored guest or guests in a brief and flattering manner. It is important that the toast befit the event. Remember a prolonged and detailed toast, like a prolonged pre-prandial prayer, can make everyone ill at ease. A few brief, eloquent remarks can go a long way and put everyone in a congenial mood. It is then the honored guest's responsibility to return the favor and express gratitude to the host with a toast.

I'll leave you with one of my favorites: "My heart is as full as my glass when I drink to you, old friend." Till next time.